Cultural Anecdotes

These short stories detail some of the ways I´ve battled with cultural differences but through time embrace the understanding of why things are different.

1- Walk and day dream. Tough I´ve never fallen into the open man-holes in the streets of Piura or the open shoe-size holes that occur about every 10 feet or so on most sidewalks I´ve come close on hundreds of occasions. You might think that this is a liability in most places but not here. There are no law suits of those sorts here. Why are there open man-holes and square foot size openings all over the streets and side walks of Piura? Sometimes the city does work on the sewage lines and forgets to put the lids on the man-holes until the project is completely over. This could take months. Sometimes they are nice enough to mark the open hole with a rock or tree branches but never with bright orange plastic cones. That would be stupid. They would be stolen within hours. What about the squar foot holes that are found in the side walks? They are where houses and buisnesses turn on their water. Just like we have water meters in our back yards they have their water valves directly in front of their front door which lies directly on the side walks. Why aren´t they covered? Many are covered by a metal lids. However, when someone loses their lid for some reason (usually it is stolen) they feel obliged to take someone elses. As you could imagine, this creates a vicious cycly of theft. To steal the lid requieres physically removing a bolted down hinged metal lid. It must take some effort but then again nobody likes to have a foot deep hole in front of their door. Those who find it morally wrong to steal their neighbors lid use wood 2x4 plants to cover their holes. Whats the point of this? Well, after 2 years of dodging the holes I can now walk and think about other things at the same time. I can now day dream and walking! Before one would have to constantly worry about falling in these US lawyer salary makers. I have adapted a subconscience for avoiding dangerous holes in the ground.

Why the hell can`t I use my cell phone in the bank!
After wondering why the police always asked me to refrain from using my cell phone in the bank I later just didn´t question it. I just found it annoying and a stupid rule that didn`t make since. That was until I learned the reason for the rule and what a logical way to prevent robberies on individuals leaving the bank. You see, before, the robbers would lurk inside the banks and observe who was taking out cash. They observed how much cash they were taking out, if they were accompanied by friends, and most importantly, how they were planning on returning home after leaving the bank. The customers who were loaded up with cash, alone and leaving the bank on foot were prime targets. It was as easy as callingfrom a cell phone from inside the bank to somebody on the outside telling them who the target was. This was usually done by telling their friend what color of shirt they had on or other physical descriptions. That was very common practice. Today, every bank and most stores hire police or security guards to stand outside the store and prevent robberies. Makes since huh?

The thief is the person who runs
It´s always bad to generalize, however, I can`t help it. When I see people run down the street I immediately think they have stolen something. My girlfriend gets mad at me when I say ¨Look honey, a thief¨. Sometimes it is obviously not a thief but a buisness man or woman wearing a suit while running to catch the bus or an old lady trotting a long the side walk. Those cases I am joking around. However, I believe most of the people I see running I assume they have stolen a purse or jewelry and our running from the police. I see so many petty thefts in the streets of Piura and so many thieves that are brought into the police station where I work.

One of my favorite memories was when I played Mr. Justice a few months back. As I was in a taxi and saw two teens running down the street holding a purse. I told the driver to follow them. When the taxi hit a road block I tossed him the fare and got out to chase the boys down. I hauled ass. Thinking about the time the thieves stole my watch and cell phone at gun point gave me incredible god speed. I was taking my anger out. Justice had to be served. I was hauling down the street with my dress shoes, slacks and brief case. The people in the street didn`t do anything to slow the teens down. I would have appreciated a trip or something to slow the them down. Luckily I was full of adrenaline and can run fast. I caught up with the kids and tackled the one with the purse. The other boy kept running. Soon the cops showed up and helped me take them back to the police station. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to the boys about the life path they were going down. To top off my high I wanted to take them to their parents and explain to them what happened. They were both under 18, no shoes, no shirt, extremely skinny to the point you could see their rib cage. The teens looked like they were under 10 years of age. It was clear that these boys were stealing for drug money or food. Either way, I felt it was grounds for incorporating parent involvement in their punishment. The police didn´t agree. It is safe to say that the boys served some time in a juvenile center, which, in Peru are training grounds for future murderers, thieves, and rapists. I still don`t understand the justice system here. I wish there were creative forms of punishment and rehabiliation. Community service could be an option.

Hemingway and Cabo Blanco Peru

picture. Ernest Hemingway fishing off the Northern Peruvian Coast

In 1952 Ernest Hemmingway made a little fishing village in northern Peru famous worldwide after his Peruvian friend caught an enormously large fish. The village is called Cabo Blanco and the fish was a Marlin that weighed more than a thousand pounds. It still holds the world`s record for the largest Marlin ever caught. Many have come close but no one has pulled a larger Marlin out of the sea...YET. After the news hit the world`s newspapers, Hemingway´s little fishing club in Cabo Blanco recieved many visiters, including dozens of Hollywood actors and writers such as Mario Vargas Llosa. I never visited the club, which, by the way today is just the remnants of an old hotel overlooking the beach. However, I was after the fish. I wanted to beat the record. How dumb was I! My friends and I had a vision and a goal to bring home the bacon and have a fish BBQ after returning from the open seas off the coast of Cabo Blanco. We would be fishing in the same waters as Hemingway once did. As we walked out on the dock we saw the fishermen load up their daily catch onto ice trays. When we passed by dozens of Barracuda and giant squid on the dock, our hopes of catching fish seemed like a for sure deal. I could see myself cutting off fresh filets of tuna, sword fish and marlin to make sashimi. The nightmare started when we set sail for the open waters of the pacific. I quickly learned that the Pacific is not Pacific in nature but terribly rough. Within the first hour I was throwing up. Then my buddy threw up. My other friend fell a sleep due to a severe hangover from drinking the night before and the cowboy of the group sat in the fishing chair diligently watching the fishing lines for any activity while drinking beer after beer. For 6 miserable hours my friend and I threw up while the other two slept and kept guard. The only creature that was caught that day didn´t come from the dark waters below but from the blue skys above. A poor sea gull, (I think it was a Albatros, despite what my friends think) swooped down and ate one of the lures that was trolling behind the boat. The captain took in the line and unhooked the lure from its beak in a way that seemed like he had done it a hundred times. The bird flew away knowing he´d better think twice before dining on a brightly colored plastic mini squid lure that skips on top of the water directly behind a large yacht. To put the icing on the cake, the captain and his first mate ate the majority of the sandwiches leaving us hungry. We were sunburned, tired, sick, hungry, and extremely bored and we paid for it with our time and money. I learned that fishing is not always a guarantee but for anyone is as avid about deep sea fishing as I am should stick to fishing in Mexico and Florida where I believe are more fish and much better service. picture. our view was beautiful in the chilly morning.

picture. First mate taking the hook out of our catch.